My Relationship with Nature
I have a mixed relationship with nature, one that I am still exploring. Growing up in a huge metropolitan city like Mumbai, I did not have many opportunities to connect deeply with the natural world. Now and then, there would be school trips to mangroves, national parks, or sanctuaries, and sometimes treks that allowed me to experience nature more closely. Through these moments, I built an appreciation for the environment, especially trees and animals. At school, we also learned extensively about climate change through plays, workshops, and extracurricular activities. Coming from a farming family in Nashik, I would sometimes visit my hometown, where I observed the vineyards and agricultural work closely. My parents had grown up surrounded by farms and carried that connection with them, but for me, growing up in the city created a sense of disconnect from that farming side of my family. Most of my after-school activities revolved around playing in the neighborhood, going to malls, or watching movies, rarely anything rooted in nature.
It was only during college, when I started traveling outside Mumbai and even outside India, that I truly realized the beauty of nature. I was in awe of the turquoise blue seas of Puerto Rico, the colorful fall landscapes, and the sparkling streams of Vermont. What struck me most was how clean and pollution-free these environments were, something I had never really seen in Mumbai. I craved plastic-free waters and litter-free trails. Since then, my relationship with nature has changed. Experiencing such pristine environments often leaves me questioning the state of nature back home and feeling distressed about who gets access to these resources and why they are not maintained everywhere. In Vermont, I also noticed how my American friends enjoy spending time outdoors and engage in activities like trekking or kayaking, something many of my international friends and I never thought about, mostly because we never had the same opportunities or resources. This made me realize how much one’s relationship with nature is shaped by privilege and access.
I often feel challenged by the limited and unequal access I have had to clean, well-maintained nature. At times, I feel a sense of responsibility placed on my generation to clean up after the damage done by those before us, and this makes me angry. Even when I do get the chance to experience nature, I feel pressured to take it all in, knowing I might not see a clean beach again for a long time. Yet, when I am in nature, I also feel a deep sense of peace and grounding. Life’s challenges seem smaller, and I feel more present. I also associate nature with fitness and resilience, as activities like trekking or kayaking are not only physical challenges but also ways to connect deeply with the environment. Looking ahead, many of my personal goals revolve around building a stronger, more grounded relationship with nature, because I have not had much access to it before. In a world where technology often consumes my attention, my desire to connect with nature also comes from wanting to step outside that digital bubble and create more balance in my life.
My Relationship with Digital Devices
My relationship with digital devices is very mixed as well. Firstly, starting out with the positives, as an international student far from home, smartphones and the internet have helped me connect with my family and friends. At times, when I am having a bad day or even a depressive episode, and want to spend time by myself, my devices help me connect to resources or close friends and stay in touch with the world around me. Moreover, so many resources and opportunities I have discovered were through the internet and social media!
However, these can quickly turn into disadvantages. I find myself going into a spiral through my devices, spending hours on social media without realizing how much time has passed. Looking at others’ carefully curated, perfect digital lives makes me question my own. I feel like I start doubting myself and the place I am at in my life, as well as the phases I am going through. Very quickly, my relationship with digital devices shifts into something negative, where I try to disconnect and spend as little time on them as possible. Ironically, the very tools that are supposed to help me excel, grow, or connect with resources often end up making me feel worse about myself. For instance, looking at LinkedIn can be both helpful and harmful. On the one hand, it makes job searching and professional networking easier. On the other hand, it often highlights what I lack, making me more aware of the gaps in my journey compared to others. Through social media, especially, I have noticed how much I focus on my deficits rather than my strengths.
This is why I believe my relationship with digital devices and the digital world in general is one I need to tread carefully. If I am not mindful, it can harm my self-esteem and distort my relationship with myself and my goals. At times, it even sends me into a spiral that triggers distress and depression. Looking ahead, my goal is to reduce the amount of time I spend on these devices and work toward building a healthier relationship with them. I want to stop relying on them so much to fill my free time and instead use them in a more limited, purposeful way. Most importantly, I want to spend more time outside, gathering real-life experiences, and cultivating a balance that helps me feel grounded.
